sure i'm happy that i went through all of that but jfc i'd be so much better off right now if i didn't.
i wake up depressed, i go to sleep depressed, i don't want to talk to people nor see their conversations because i can't suppress my stupid selfish tendencies to want to complain and whine (seriously i want to be happy for you but i feel cheated from what might have been a pivotal point in my life), relationships are too difficult to keep up with because i've turned into a recluse, and my grades are dropping because i can't concentrate
to top it all off, my health has worsened considerably again and i can't talk to anyone about it. i would and i've tried, but nobody understands how shitty it is to never know when your body is going to start attacking itself. i hate being the way i am and looking the way i do-- it reminds me every single day how i'm sick for the rest of my days on this planet
seriously just fuck this shit i need a break from my life